CT Scans are not fun!!!

I most recently had a CT scan last Wednesday & it really sucked! First of all, the person who developed that "barium" should check theirself. Anything you do to that milky concoction is NOT gonna make it taste any better, in fact, I think the berry smoothie flavored barium still tastes pretty bad. What's worse, is that I had no idea there was such a thing as a "rectal" barium...yes, it is what you think...they put barium up there too. As if drinking three cups of that stuff isn't enough, they find a way to put it up there.

Okay, bitching aside, my test results came back with positive results. According to the doctor, there is no new growth. Which means that the chemo treatment is keeping the cancer at bay - YAY!!! And then, we were given the news we have been waiting so long to hear, the green light to go home - YAY!!! So, goodbye Texas....it was definitely a journey & well worth it, but get me the heck outta here & back to paradise where I belong.

So, yes...I'm going home! After a long two months. I'm going to continue my chemo treatments in Hawaii though, & I'll have another check up in another nine weeks. Thank you everyone for your continued prayers & support. You cannot imagine how much it's meant to me to know how many of you are praying for me & my family. The power of prayer - you just gotta believe.

Halfway to losing my mind...

I'm done with chemo #2 & am on my way actually to getting chemo #3. I guess I was so drugged out during chemo #1 that I don't remember any of the side effects. So, this time around, I really felt the side effects. It included nausea, itchiness, dizziness, the soles of my feet hurt, & loss of appetite. It lasted about 10 days! Can you imagine feeling sick for 10 days?
It wasn't fun at all, but as soon as it passed I was able to eat. Thank God!

Anyway, we've been here about a month & a half so far...& I am really looking forward to this week. Let's see, on Wednesday I have a bone scan, CT scan, & ultrasound scheduled with the results read the next day. This will determine when we'll be able to go home. I'm excited...cause I miss home, I miss my husband, I miss my own bed, I miss everything there is to miss about Hawaii. It's lonely & boring here in Texas especially when you rely on the hotel shuttle to take you places & the most exciting place it can take you is to Super Target. Thank God for weekends & thank God for my Aunty Sylvia & Uncle Greg. We spend our weekends at their house in Katy. Aunty takes us to the mall, to the grocery store, anywhere we want to go...& we're not confined to our hotel room.

H1N1 is a huge deal here & the hospital I go to just announced that they are not allowing children under the age of 12 on the premises. Which means that Kanoe can no longer come with me when I have doctor's appointments. I hope that this flu thing passes quickly. I just want to be able to go home & let Kanoe get her flu shots from her regular doctor. Here in Texas, we don't have a pediatrician & we have no way of getting around & I'm not familiar with what's nearby, so it would be hard for me to get a doctor for Kanoe. Anyone have any suggestions?

No More Fog...

It's been awhile, but boy am I glad that I'm finally out of the fog! By fog I mean, there are some parts of this trip that I don't remember because I was so doped up on morphine. I was hospitalized from the 8th thru the 16th. During that time, they discovered a bloodclot in my arm, got my pain under control, & even gave me my first round of chemo. I am so glad to be out of the hospital, the food was the worst. I did lose a lot of weight while in there, but I've been eating well, so I'm sure I gained some of it back. So, now I take methadone & neurontin for my pain & my mom gives me shots for the bloodclot. I am going to rehab also for the lymphedema, but my poor arm is so swollen & I really can't move it, plus we have to consider the bloodclot when exercising the arm - nothing too strenuous.

My next round of chemo is on the 1st. We're hoping that after this round, the doctor will be able to reassess me & tell us that the chemo is killing the cancer. when that happens, then we can coordinate with the Hawaii doctors so we can come home & I can receive treatment there. I miss home, I miss my husband, I miss Hawaii.

Houston can you hear me?

We made it to Houston! Praise the Lord! Got to see the doctor today & had to do some tests - a bone scan, those are not too bad, but trying to keep still for 20 minutes. The doctor was very optimistic but also very blunt, which is completely fine with me. I mean ain't I the queen of bluntness? Anyway tomorrow is more tests - a CT scan & an ultrasound, I should be done by 12:30. I don't know, there's something about this place that I like. And it's not the guys!


Anyway, so I didn't get to finish the last blog cause I was just so irked from traveling. Today is no different. Woke up so darn early again so that we could catch a ride from my mom's friend to the hospital. Had some breakfast and then realized that I needed to no t eat anything for the test that they were administering to me that morning. I had a chest/abdomen/pelvis CT scan & later I had an ultrasound on the one I had removed.

Today I was a bit emotional, partly due to the pain in my arm. Gee, I'm hoping that someone on either end will find me a doctor that will prescribe me a sleeve. I don't know how much more I can take this pain, swelling, or the inability to do this blog thing with one normal hand & one "swollen" one.

Anyway, time for bed. I have a new mini net book, so mini that it's taking me so long to write this stupid sentence!

Doctor's appointments - Boy am I sick of them!!!

Okay, so since Tuesday, I've been to a doctor's office at least once a day...& that's not it...I get to see my oncologist tomorrow, then the eye doctor & physical therapist on Tuesday, then the liver doctor & physical therapist on Wednesday.  Thursday & Friday are free for now, but we'll see if the docs decide that I need to see them again.

The new physical therapist is wonderful!  I've only seen her twice & already I'm noticing a difference in my arm.  She's also very informative as well & I've learned quite a bit in the last two visits.  I'm hoping to have a better range of motion before we go to Texas so that I won't seem so "handicapped."

My echo cardiogram came back with good news...my heart is in good shape!  Yay!  Thank You God!  But, it seems like the tumor in my armpit is pressing up against a vein in my arm & that is what is causing all this swelling.  So, we're being careful because we don't know if there is a blood clot involved, so when I exercise that arm, I have to do it lightly & not aggressively.  I find out tomorrow if they are going to put me on a low dose of coumadine - it's a blood thinner that will prevent my blood from clotting so that we don't have to worry about any blood clots forming in the arm.  It sucks!  I remember that my grandma was on that same medication.  Um hello?  When did I become my grandma?!!?  Okay, Grandma & Grandpa Cortez listen up... if you have any say or control on what happens to me down here on Earth, then I suggest you speak up & help me out here.  No more pressing on the vein, no more tumor in the armpit, full circulation returned to my arm, full range of motion returned to my arm, no more pain at all, no more cancer cells in my body!  And tell God that although I love being thin, this is not how I imagined it at all.  I pray that I am healthy thin, not sickly thin.  I guess you really have to be careful what you ask for in prayer & be very specific as well.

Anyway, I'll blog again sometime tomorrow with the results from my doctor's visits.  By the way, the Texas thing is coming along slowly.  I did speak with someone from the hospital, all my records are being faxed & copied, & all my scans are being put on a disc.  Hope it all falls into place soon, but only God knows the outcome of it.  I place it into Your hands Father & I stand upon Your word of healing.

Update!!!

Yesterday was the worst yet!  I spent almost an entire work day at the doctor's office - 9:30 to 4pm because I had been complaining of shortness of breath as well as not being able to eat anything.  I have no appetite, but I will eat if something is put in front of me.  For some reason, I had been having the feeling of fullness & was burping a lot.  They scheduled me for a CT scan to see if I had a blood clot in my lungs.  In order to do so, the tech needs to put an IV in so that they can put a contrast in your blood.  Little did I know that it would literally take them 3 times before I called it quits.  Not only was it painful, but they couldn't find the vein & when they found one, it wouldn't flush.  So, they sent me over to nuclear medicine for another type of scan.  It required an IV, but not as large & they were going to use my vein on my hand (which is the vein that everyone uses).  This time it took them 2 times to get the IV in & the first one hurt like a mother.  In fact it hurt so much, I think I heard him say that he "blew" the vein.  That's just great! Now, imagine, I had been at the doctor's office since 9:30 in the morning with only a granola bar in my stomach.  They are lucky that I wasn't starving, but I bet that's one of the reasons why my veins sucked that day.  I was dehydrated!  Hello!  Can anyone get me a drink? Anyway, the result from the test was negative - no blood clot!

So, I'm back at the hospital again today to do 2 things - a ultrasound on my arm & an echocardiogram.  They gave me some kind of results from the ultrasound, but I want to hear it from the doctor.  I think the tumor is pressing up on a vein.  I don't know what they do when that happens, but I'm sure I'll find out when I go to my follow up appointment.  I will publish the results then.

I just want to end with this.... Thank you God for my family!  Do you know that my grandma & grandpa live in town & they drove to Wahiawa to get me, take me to Queen's, & then take me back home.... and they will be back at 8:45 in the morning to do it all over again?!?  That's love. Thank you God for my family.  Don't worry, the rest of my family does amazing things for me as well.... it'll take too long to list them all.

A list of things that I am thankful for...

So, the other day I was at church listening to the pastor talk about "grace."  "Grace" is unmerited favor or something that you don't earn.  It is thru God's grace that we are forgiven, it is thru God's grace that we receive blessings.  I have learned that when you pray, you shouldn't pray about the things that are missing from your life, but rather, you should be thanking the Lord for what you have already received.  It is only thru being thankful in receiving that we can truly be given what we ask for in prayer.  So today of all days, I am going to list all the things I am thankful for to remind me how great & blessed my life really is.  And it's for you readers as well to remind me when I call you in despair.

I AM THANKFUL FOR...

my relationship with God

my healing

my life

my husband

my daughter

my health

my parents

my stepparents

my brothers & sisters

my aunties & uncles

my cousins

my inlaws

my car

my home

my bed

the furniture in my house

my friends

money

food, especially desserts :)

lavender body wash

hot bath water

big tubs

bubble baths

the feel of new carpet between your toes

the beach

the sun, the sand

shave ice

manis & pedis

my breath

sleep

pain meds

coffee & bagels w/cream cheese

hot, fresh malasadas

air conditioners

shopping

my cell phone

the internet

computers

reality tv

my doctors

hair

sunday services

gospel music

ipods