Zometa Sucks & other Updates...

So, my first round of Zometa really sucked!  The IV went in fine & surprisingly it didn't take that long for the meds to go into me, but it was the side effects that I was totally unprepared for.  The next day I couldn't even get out of bed.  I was dizzy, my entire body ached (as if someone meat tenderized me), & I was extremely tired.  I remember drifting in & out of consciousness.  I felt like a zombie!  I couldn't really eat, I didn't really have an appetite, & food didn't taste as good. Side effects were very similar to receiving chemo, except I think they were worse.  The good thing that came out of all of this is that I managed to get a lot of sleep.  Last night I went to bed at about 9:30pm & didn't get up to take a pain pill until almost 6 in the morning.  Hallelujah!  Praise the Lord!

The doc put me on new pain meds, a patch, which I ended up removing after the first night because I couldn't breathe.  I felt like someone was sitting on my chest, I was hyperventilating, my heart was racing, & while taking a shower, I literally felt like I was drowning when I put my head under the water.  The next thing I know is I'm watching tv & a commercial comes on that says "if you know of someone who has died using the pain patch Fentanyl, they may be eligible to receive money from a lawsuit concerning the patch."  Okay, now that's alarming!  It's a good thing I called my doc when I did & it's also a good thing that she told me to remove it.   When there's a lawsuit going on that involves a specific medication, I think that all pharmacies should remove it & make it unavailable to the public until the lawsuit is resolved.  It's just wrong that I had to spend money to get meds that I can't even use!

Texas is where I think we're going...at least that's where the doc said we will be best served.  The center is called MD Anderson & according to their website, they are doing a lot of clinical trials on Triple Negative Cancer & getting positive results.  I'm not exactly thrilled about traveling that far away from home.  But I think we've made a decision to take Kanoe with us & let Deo remain on the home front to continue to work, make sure we have medical insurance, & pay the bills.  It's a lot to think about.  But I don't want Deo to lose his mind being a "single" father, especially because both my mom & I will not be around to help him.  Oh, & can I just talk about insecurities...I know I'll have them, but hopefully treatment will fly by & I'll be able to return to my husband quickly.  Just to let you know, sex is not an issue, meaning that we just don't have it anymore.  I know he loves me.  I know he's not getting it from anyone else.  I know that he's scared to touch me.  But sometimes, I wish he would just get over it & be intimate.  I just don't know how to make him see it my way.  Oh God, I really do need help!