There's a new "kid" in town...

We finally saw the new oncologist today!  It's been so long that I've seen a doctor, that I feel like I'm in "cancer limbo."  Let me tell you, "limbo" is not a fun place to be especially when it's something as life threatening as cancer.  Thank goodness that break is over & we are moving full steam ahead!  

Anyway, during my first visit the doc reviewed the PET scan, the CT scan, my options, & my pain.  We got a lot of our questions answered & it looks like tomorrow I start my first dose of Zometa.  Zometa will help with the metastasis to the bone. It's given to me by IV & I think it takes about 1 hour for all the meds to filter thru.  Side effects include flu like body aches, possible fever, dizziness, & drowsiness.  And it's given every 4 weeks.  Thank God it's not like chemo - I don't know if my veins could handle a poke every other week.  I'm also scheduled for a echocardiogram to check my heart & an appointment to see my liver doc to make sure that my liver is functioning properly - we want to make sure that I don't have another flare up with hepatitis b.

It does look like I will be traveling to the mainland to seek out new treatment, possibly clinical trials that are not offered in Hawaii.  It's going to suck being away from the ones that I love, especially my husband & daughter, but at least I know that when I come back, I'm coming back as a survivor.  I tried to explain this to my daughter & all I got was a sad face.  I know she understands me, but I also know that she doesn't understand the "depth" of my sickness.  I only want the best for her & I wish I could protect her from all of this.  I mean when she's older, I don't want her to look back & remember doctor appointments, chemo treatments, mommy feeling sick from the chemo, etc.  I want her memories to be of starting school, making new friends, learning the alphabet, counting to 20, etc.  Anyway, I am still unsure about this decision - do I take her with me or do I leave her here?  Anyone out there got any suggestions? I'm open to listening.

Oh, & before I forget...all of this took place on my husband's birthday.  Happy Birthday honey - I'm sorry you had to spend it in a doctor's office.  Ain't he the best?!